Tuesday, August 3, 2010

John Sterling: Stuck in the 80s

In tonight’s loss to the Blue Jays, as an errant throw rolled into the outfield, the ever-current John Sterling remarked that the throw would have even been “over Kareem’s head.”

How timely, a 2010 reference to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the six-time NBA MVP who retired in…wait for it…1989. That’s 1989, as in 21 YEARS AGO, proving yet again that Sterling exists in some sort of nonsensical time warp.


  1. A. Grumpus (born B. Jolly)August 6, 2010 at 4:33 AM

    Ho hum. Aren't you the fellow who made a pointless (and unfunny) reference on 7/30/10 to one Vanilla Ice. To wit, you wrote: "I froze" and then rather strangely, the second word was a hypertext link to a youtube video of the former Robert Matthew Van Winkle--perhaps one of your favorites? It would figure. Who knew you could cull a reference to the lexicon of popular song that would be as timely as one of the master JOHN STERLING!'s showtune channelings (STERLING! of course the former Harold Moskowitz). But ragging on STERLING! here just really is the pot calling the kettle black.

    And if Kareem ain't a timely enough reference for you, well I'm glad you're so nitpicky--he's only one of the 10 best NBA players of all-time, so heaven forfend that radio listeners have any cultural or sports literacy. I mean how out of touch is STERLING! to mention Kareem Abdul-Jabaar? (aka the former Lew Alcindor). I guess everything has to be up to the minute and fresh for you. Maybe they could get Jay-Z (born one Shawn Corey Carter) and Lady Gaga (nee Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) to do play-by-play and those broadcasts would be filled with such fresh and current bon mots that you'd be fulfilled. And perhaps find a day job. Meanwhile, as someone once said in a movie somewhere (hey, I don't wanna date myself)and I say heartily to one JOHN STERLING!: LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!

  2. Didja ever notice how all the "witty" banter around here dries up when someone's soiling his pinstriped union suit? The Yankee death march into aged ignominy continues. Face it: even you now miss Sterling's throaty & dulcet victory warblings. And a confession: I am wearied by J-Sterl's persistent hand wringing. But not as weary as I am by the uninspired ball now played by this broken down, head cased incarnation of pinstripers. George rolls & spews in his titanic mausoleum--watch out Tampanians--his casket rattlings are sure to seismically shift plate tectonics irrevecoably and the whole gravesite will erupt like a modern day Vesuvias, spewing inspiring lava floes down on Yankeeville. If only. Doom & gloom awaits in '10. Sayonara please to K. Long. Will Clueless Joe be banished to baseball Siberia of Chi-town? After his uninspiring pep talk that we don't need to win the division, I say good riddance. We don't need back-into-ers in the Bronx , nor half-assers. You don't see Francona letting his team settle-he keeps 'em scrapping. Whatevs. I just know late Oct is gonna be awful quiet w/o JOHN STERLING!!!'s orotund exhortations from the Lowe's broadcast booth. Alas alack, g'bye babies & amen

  3. a. grumpus, dejectedOctober 23, 2010 at 6:07 AM

    Prescient, wasn't I? A whimpering end to a dispiriting year. And now radio silence in STERLINGVILLE! as we endure yet another endless hot stove season waiting for spring. Will somebody create and then send me a JOHN STERLING! audio book for Christmas? The collected audio feeds of every Yankeeography, for instance. I already need a vibrant fix of his good, bold oratory. Something to put the wind back in my sails, for the pinstripers certainly did little to sustain me in '10. I'd go on, but my teary eyes are raining on my computer keyboard and I fear sudden electrocution. Alas. Now to turn my ears to the great silence . . . and dream of April 2011.