Pages

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Night Before (John) Sterling

Tomorrow marks the 2011 debut of Yanks baseball on the radio, and the return of John Sterling. Which makes tonight:

The Night Before Sterling

‘Twas the night before Sterling, when all through the house,

Each creature was fearing, what would spring from his mouth;

For tomorrow he sits in his Yank’s broadcast chair,

And starts a new season of spewing hot air;

The radios were tuned to the Yankee’s network,

Just awaiting the s**t that would emit from this jerk;

I took out my jersey, I put on my cap,

And finally awoke from my long winter’s nap;

When out of the radio, there rose such a clatter;

As Sterling had started his mind-numbing patter;

He’s always mistaking, what are strikes and are balls,

And makes efforts painstaking, on his home run calls;

On Jeter, on Text, on Jolly Saint Nick,

On my nerves, for quite frankly, he’s making me sick;

Is it fair? Is it foul? Is it over the wall?

He’s calls are like noses, he blows one and all;

But this game is a tough one, there’s just no explaining,

And while he makes little sense, there’s no sense complaining;

So here I exclaim, whilst full of derision;

Click off your radio, and watch television!

31 comments:

  1. It's now April, fool & what have we to look forward to, in yr estimation? Another year of feeble dithering about the majestic JOHN STERLING!! A poet now, are ye? Limp, 8th grade level parody, not fit for the weird likes of even Al Yankovic. What the hell--you've had months to come up with something--anything--of interest, insight, something new, witty, incisive. Nada & bupkes, you clod. You've had months to practice yr body blows and still can't land a punch. It's called woodshedding, m'boy, you gotta work to achieve and you've been resting on yr teeny & crushed pile of crusty laurels. Meanwhile, JOHN STERLING! towers above you, a wordy eminence that can't be grazed by yr flaccid, needless tirades. P.U., man. Sterling warbles like the first robin of spring--no sound more welcome to my ears. How many hours I whiled away this long, lonely winter playing my archive of STERLING!! broadcasts, lovingly cassette-taped-that stretch back many a year, just to dazzle with all the good gravy he routinely ladles atop the WCBS broadcasts. Yes, yes, I know, what you're thinking: I do have the express written consent of both the New York Yankees and MLB to revisit all these bon mots--and it's written in blood!! I have DAT-'ed and edited just to listen to an endless archive of his "live commercials". "Can't . . . getting a haircut" delivered with straight man timing that could only be described as "Dean Martinesque"! Check the tapes!! Priceless bounty!! And now the bright light at the end of the interminable tunnel. The man, the myth, the legend, crowing the Good News of homers in Yankeeland--Tex'messages, Grandymans and an almost A-Bomb (whoops!)--I am happy at last and there's little you can do to rain upon our glorious and awe-inducing parade. I remain your better,

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is very interesting, You are a very professional blogger.

    I've joined your rss feed and look forward to searching for extra of your great post. Additionally, I've shared your website
    in my social networks

    My website; the College
    my webpage: visit website

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz respond as I'm looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thank you

    My blog: in porn tube

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you would like to increase your familiarity only keep visiting this site and be updated with the most up-to-date information posted here.



    Feel free to surf to my blog - see more

    ReplyDelete
  5. After checking out a handful of the articles on your web site, I really appreciate your technique of writing a blog.
    I book marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back
    in the near future. Take a look at my web site too and tell me how you feel.



    Feel free to visit my blog visit

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think this is among thе most important info for me.
    Αnd і am glad reading уouг article.

    But wanna remark on somе general thіngs, The ωеbsite stylе is peгfеct, the аrticles is really
    excеllent : D. Good job, cheers

    my sitе :: BlackChipPoker Offer

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you a lot for sharing this with all
    folks you actually understand what you are speaking approximately!
    Bookmarked. Please also consult with my
    website =). We can have a link change contract between us

    My website; Brigette's homepage

    ReplyDelete
  8. I visit daily some web pages and sites to read articles or reviews,
    however this weblog gives quality based articles.

    Stop by my web blog http://extremefucking.org

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your
    efforts and I will be waiting for your next post thank you once
    again.

    my website - at sex videos
    Also see my webpage - visit website

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the longer term and it's time to be happy. I have learn this post and if I may I wish to recommend you few fascinating things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I desire to learn more things about it!

    Here is my web site; review
    My site - Click Here

    ReplyDelete
  11. What's up i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i read this article i thought i could also make comment due to this brilliant piece of writing.

    Feel free to visit my website Twister - Cam chats are fun plus entertaining soziales news netzwerk -social.
    my website - click through the next site

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much,
    However I am encountering issues with your RSS. I don't understand the reason why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanks!!

    Feel free to surf to my homepage - visit website

    ReplyDelete
  13. A fascinating discussion is definitely worth
    comment. I do believe that you should publish more on this subject,
    it may not be a taboo matter but usually folks don't speak about such subjects. To the next! Best wishes!!

    my weblog: visit

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
    I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on.

    Any suggestions?

    Also visit my weblog; visit website

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello, Neat post. There is a problem together with your website in internet explorer, might test this?
    IE still is the market leader and a large part of people will omit your excellent writing due to this problem.



    Here is my website: click here

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey are using Wordpress for your site platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying
    to get started and set up my own. Do you need any coding knowledge to make your own
    blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Here is my web-site naughty blonde teen licking her big boobs and fucked hard on her bed

    ReplyDelete
  17. If you are going for most excellent contents like I do, just go to see
    this site every day because it gives feature contents, thanks

    my webpage ... blondie belly dancer

    ReplyDelete
  18. You'll find even holders on each side on the console for that water bottles.

    Stop by my web-site ... adjustable dumbbells

    ReplyDelete
  19. Turkey Breast - Lightly season and roast in oven or on grill
    with indirect warmth.

    Also visit my site cheap dumbbell sets

    ReplyDelete
  20. By utilizing straps instead of wrapping the band, you lessen the dress in about the band and have a much additional comfortable match.



    Feel free to surf to my homepage - bowflex 552

    ReplyDelete
  21. It is not my first time to visit this web site, i am visiting this web site dailly and take
    pleasant information from here every day.

    Feel free to surf to my site - Summer Bunny Spreads Her Smooth Bald Pussy Revealing Pink

    ReplyDelete
  22. It may also help an individual shed some excess weight whenever they have difficulties about
    it.

    Feel free to visit my website 30 lb dumbbells

    ReplyDelete
  23. Why people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological globe the whole thing
    is presented on web?

    my blog post ... blonde gets ass Drilled

    ReplyDelete
  24. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought
    this post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous
    blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!

    Here is my web page: view it

    ReplyDelete
  25. Nice blog here! Additionally your website lots up fast!
    What host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your affiliate hyperlink in your host?
    I desire my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Here is my weblog ... click here

    ReplyDelete
  26. There is certainly a great deal to find out about this issue.
    I like all of the points you have made.

    Feel free to visit my web site; here are the findings

    ReplyDelete
  27. Pretty niсe post. I simply stumbled upon уour blog anԁ wished to say that
    I have really loved surfing around your blog posts. After all I'll be subscribing on your rss feed and I'm
    hoping you ωгite οncе
    more soоn!

    My wеb-site - 888 Poker Promotionѕ :: :
    :

    ReplyDelete
  28. Υou really makе it seem so eаsy ωith yοur presentation but ӏ іn
    finding this mattеr to be really one thing that
    Ӏ belіeνe I'd never understand. It kind of feels too complicated and very large for me. I am taking a look ahead on your next post, I will try to get the dangle of it!

    Feel free to visit my blog 888 Poker Promotions :: http://dbar.com/AmyCottingham ::

    ReplyDelete
  29. Looks like this super articles is not only one on this website. I spending more time if you will be posting soon.
    -----------------------------------
    Online Poker bonus gratis
    Poker
    Table bingo is simply stunning, the designers share 90 ball, 80 ball and 75 ball rooms into sections, making it easy to select the game. Making a donation is easy with a wide variety of payment options including PayPal, if you have a problem just contact support that is second to none - Will Hill is a great brand with a good reputation in the UK.
    Games William Hill Bingo has recently free poker strengthened its offer of bingo 80 ball bingo, this option is in texas holdem poker addition to the many 75 ball and 90 ball bingo. There are many decent jackpots offered in bingo. Full house in 38 balls or less wins you Rocket cash of L 2500 while packing a full house in 33 or less will award the progressive jackpot Mountain Money. Money Mountain jackpot starts at L 10,000 and has grown considerably over L 50,000 before they got in the past. This is William Hill say, so you should expect the mini-games galore. Bingo slots and bingo cards can be played between the beginning of games and a very impressive jackpots. Clover Rollover jackpot slot machine, in particular, has reached more than L 100,000 prize on several occasions.
    Sin Deposito Texas Holdem
    Ohne einzahlung online poker
    In addition, regular charges with cash prizes of up to L 100 run regularly on the site online poker and win this all you have to do is continue playing. A total of 200 prizes are awarded each month, including 100 pounds of pot, L 50, two second prizes, 20 prizes of L 10, L 80 and 5 awards two L 107 prizes. For every L 1 that you spend you will receive one entry in the draw so the more you play, the greater the chance of winning one of these monthly gifts.
    Williamhillbingo offers a wide selection of free bingo, BOGOF bingo and guaranteed jackpot games. Run the L 8,000 Bingo Linx day, 1000 pounds worth of free bingo games and many other one-off game for the whole month.
    William Hill Bingo - Our verdict free money for poker. Minimalist design and style is quite a relief online poker, easy to use and everything is in the right place. Plus, this is the site for real fans of online games, with so many side games, instant win and slots to choose from. Selection, brightness, sound bingo games and high-quality design. In total, William Hill Bingo is a good bet! Other big names in the bingo. William Hill is one of the biggest players in the online bingo world, who are in direct competition with Virgin Bingo and Foxy Bingo, which will bring something different to the table.
    Free poker sponsorship
    Free Poker Bankrolls
    free online poker bankroll, no deposit poker and texas holdem poker no limit free.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I googling since few hours and this post is one of the best available. Need to say - Keep good posting every day dear admin.
    --------------------------
    Online Poker sans depot
    Online Poker bonus
    How much do you play? You're a pro, mediocre, new to poker? Select Bonus adapted to your level.
    Choose Subscribe to Play Poker
    League football returns after the online poker bonus free holidays, and you have an opportunity to combine the jam poker betting bookmakers. Giving a prize of € 100 to spend on sports, Football League Freeroll perfectly corresponds with the start of the tournament.
    Blow up the house of cards flaming coin, and even € 100 can be yours. Using the works to launch a chip, a new bonus game gives you an extra dimension to the knowledge of the game at the tables blaze.
    The middle of summer, so it takes stinging rake race worth € 30,000. to raise the temperature even more. Divided into two rankings, guarantees fast and furious action.
    Online poker sin deposito
    Bonus ohne einzahlung
    How about a 100 000 euro? Huge cash is up for grabs with many freerolls that we have prepared for you to increase your bankroll.
    Troia is a thing of the past, very successful free poker money indeed. Now it's time for the future, and that the French Cannes. You can see it already on the horizon. For the first time we host in the city's famous film festival is why the promotion that you might like. Why not take part in?
    Free poker money
    Poker senza deposito

    ReplyDelete
  31. Texas holdem pokerAugust 23, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    Your posts are awesome, many visitors think the same i see. Anyway, i will be back here, cuz spending time here is pure pleasure.
    ----------------------

    No deposit online poker
    Free Cash for Online Poker
    In poker texas holdem limit (eg, limit 2/4), the lower limit is used in the first two rounds, and higher in the two pozostałych.Top 10 Most Famous / Popular / Favorite poker winners money in the world
    Erik Sieldel / Daniel Negreanu / Phil Ivey / Jamie Gold / free poker bonus / Michael Mizrachi AKA "The Grinder" / Peter Eastgate / Joe Hachem AKA "Hash" / Scott Nguyen / Phil Hellmuth Jr. (North America) - NAPT / (European) - EPT (Latin America) - LAPT / (Australia New Zealand) - ANZPT (United Kingdom Ireland) - UKIPT / (PokerStars Caribbean Adventure) - PCA / (Asia Pacific) - APPT English William Hill Poker. William Hill Poker is one of the oldest and largest bookmakers in the UK, now part of the booming iPoker network, traffic and promotions at William Hill, first-rate, and as much as $ 16 million in guaranteed prize money each month on the network.
    Free Holdem Learn
    Instant poker sponsorship
    Given its UK origins, William Hill Poker is a popular poker room for British players (and European players in general) as the busiest traffic time around European peak hours.
    Due to the significant sport and a tendency to crowd moving to the poker room for a few hands, Will Hill tables are usually filled with wild and loose players. Play in general is considered to be fairly loose with tons of simple games, especially at the micro stakes. The software is decent and the lobby got a well-deserved makeover in 2009, which gives a cleaner look and easier to find what tournaments. Multi-currency deposit and is also available, as is a wide variety of games and sit-and-go.
    The games offered are Texas Hold'em, Omaha, Omaha Hi-Lo, no deposit poker, Seven-Card Stud, Seven-Card Stud Hi-Lo and Five-Card Stud. William Hill Poker also spreads high-stakes blackjack, casino games and sports betting. Real money player statistics as of December 2011 show 10,000 ring-game players at peak hours and 55,000 tournament players at peak hours. English William Hill Casino - The name you know and trust. Experience the quality you've come to expect. William Hill Casino combines over 7 decades of gaming knowledge with a reputation for fair play. Use the time-honored commitment to quality online casino games and innovation - play online at William Hill Casino.
    No deposit poker bonus
    Free Poker Money

    ReplyDelete