Well Eschews Me!

Once again, Yankee broadcaster John Sterling resorted to his “word-of-the-day” announcing style instead of the clear and concise technique preferred by his superiors (i.e. 99% of all other play-by-play men).

In the sixth inning of tonight’s game in Cleveland, Indian’s manager Manny Acta decided to let a player try to advance a man on first without bunting. When the play failed, Professor Sterling stated “So Manny Acta eschews the bunt.” Eschews? Really?

It’s not quite an SAT word, but the question remains…why use it? Why not just say “Acta decided not to bunt.”? I’ll tell you why. It’s not about the game. It’s about Sterling, and even in the simplest baseball moment, the Professor must shine the light on himself. When Sterling says “eschew” what he is really saying is “look at me! See how I can use fancy words that other broadcasters don’t?” Well Professor, there’s a reason they don’t.

The old acronym KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) applies here, as it does to most everything Sterling says. As another (humbler) genius, Albert Einstein, once said, “Everything should be made as simple as possible.”

WFAN Gets Dirty

From our Double Entendre Department comes the following:

During her 11 p.m. update on NY sports radio station WFAN yesterday, announcer Erica Herskowitz commented on how upset NY Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey was after being pulled from the game with a muscle strain.

Now maybe it’s my third-grade sense of humor, but I couldn’t help but chuckle when Herskowitz reported that “Dickey wasn’t happy about being yanked.”

Good thing she wasn’t around when Pete LaCock played for the Royals.

John Sterling’s Imagination Runs Dry

Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the shock of a bench jockey suddenly being called into play and belting a homer. Whatever the reason, John Sterling has hit bottom with his lame home run call for New York Yankees rookie Colin Curtis.

As the ball left the yard, the Sterling-throated one declared “I’ll C.C. you later!” Then, after an awkward beat in which it seemed Sterling realized just how lame he’s become, he added the attribution: “he said.” Making the whole call “I’ll C.C. you later…he said.”
I get it, his initials are C.C.

I also get that by adding yet another inane home run call which puts the focus on himself instead of the game, Sterling loses the moment.

A pinch hitter, inheriting an 0-2 count from a batter thrown out of the game? Happens every day. A kid hitting his first blast in Yankee stadium? Boring. No, instead let’s focus on silly wordplay so we can all talk about how creative the announcer is. I am really getting fed up.

PS Sterling’s home run call for Juan Miranda was just as poor.

Clear, Concise, Correct

Give the Yanks credit for a touching video tribute to Bob Sheppard. Towards the end of the montage, Sheppard states how he doesn’t attempt to be flamboyant or clairvoyant. Instead, he sums up his professional attitude in three words: Clear. Concise. Correct.

Then cut to the bumbling, stumbling “Voice of the Yankees,” Mr. Sterling. Hopefully, he was paying close attention to the Sheppard tribute and will pick up some pointers from a class act.

John Sterling Bytes

In case you need a little fix of Sterling, here’s a link to several sound bytes. Man, is he awful or what?

Howie Rose Kicks John Sterling's Butt

This is the series I live for! Yankees v. Mets!

Is it the rivalry? No. Is it the bragging rights? No. Is it the novelty? Not any more.

I love the Subway Series for one simple reason: I get to listen to the Yankees on the radio without having to listen to John Sterling. Whenever the cross-town rivals do battle, I tune in to WFAN, the Mets flagship station, and enjoy play-by-play the way it should be.

Baseball fans frequently like to compare teams player by player. When that comparison measures Yanks against Mets, the scale tilts heavily towards the pinstripes. First base? Check. Second base? Check. Starting rotation? Check. Broadcast booth? Flushing, we have a problem.

Any advantage Text has over Ike, any lead Jeter has over Reyes, is dwarfed by the way Howie Rose eclipses John Sterling.

Accuracy? Check. Likeability? Check. Home run call? Don’t even get me started.

Am I ready to switch stations for 162 games a year. No way. I’ll take pinstripes over blue and orange any day. But as far as this weekend is concerned, you’ll find me to the left of the dial, rooting for the Yankees, loving life, and enjoying the best baseball announcing New York has to offer.

John Sterling on Ernie Harwell

OK, let’s give credit where credit is due. Sterling did a nice 70-second remembrance of Tigers announcer Ernie Harwell, who passed away last week at the age of 92. In a break from his normally egomaniacal delivery, Sterling shares some gracious words about Harwell and recalls that, when he was a boy, he listened to Harwell and “got a little taste of his flavor.” He should have paid more attention. Here’s the clip.

The John Sterling Effect

As you know, this site is dedicated to pointing out how John Sterling’s antics usually get in the way of his Yankees broadcasts. Well…we’ve been one-upped.

In a thoughtful post on Bleacher Report, Leslie Monteiro blames Sterling for the decline of sports announcers in general. It makes a great deal of sense and is definitely worth a read. Click here for the story.

Cloudy With a Chance of Stupidity

We know John Sterling is one of the worst baseball announcers, but he might make an even worse weatherman!

During today’s pre-game show from an overcast Fenway Park, Sterling clarified the weather situation with this: “There’s a chance of a thunderstorm, but not of rain.” OK…so it won’t rain…but thunderstorms are likely. Rest easy, Al Roker. Your job is safe.

UPDATE -- It rained. Hard.

John Sterling is a Hippie

We know there’s the Sterling Shake. And the Hippy Hippy Shake. Now get ready for John Sterling the Hippie.

Cleary, Sterling loves the past. Some of his latest home run calls have their inspiration in the 1940s and 1970s. Now, Steeling is tipping his hat to those hippy, dippy 1960s.

At the end of yesterday’s game, Sterling proudly declared that “Everything is groovy in Yankeeland!” Groovy? Really? I’m all for a little slang from the summer of love, but not when I’m listening to a baseball game in 2010.