OK…I know I was going to let yesterday’s home opener slide without and comments, but the more I think about Sterling’s idiotic home run call for Nick Johnson (“Oh it’s Jolly Old St. Nick!”) the more it makes me want to fill his stocking with coal.
Maybe…just maybe…there’s no need to create a custom-made home run call for every player. As the old proverb states, sometimes it’s better to stay quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.
Maybe…just maybe…there’s no need to create a custom-made home run call for every player. As the old proverb states, sometimes it’s better to stay quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.
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I wanna fill his mouth with whiskey and hear what other bon mots will tumble forth. Ye gods, man, let Sterling speak and speak loudly. Better yet, drunkenly. Let him channel the spirit of Harry Carey during the second game of a double-header. Rant and roar, Sterling. Let him orate and let it flow like rushing waters rather than mere babbling brooks. I want to hear--and revel in--every random thought that crosses his brain--every forgotten show tune, each jolly observation, each and every chortle, his every hidden hurt and shame. And on and on and on. What makes J. Sterling tick? His air waves enrich and sustain. We bask in his lusty, throaty glow. We're made better listening to his robust calls. So, a stocking of coal? You snide and sniveling pretender! Deniers will be made to suffer the death of a thousand paper cuts. Nay-sayers will have to spend the rest of a hellish eternity listening to snarky Charlie Steiner call pre-season Dodgers games. Sterling at high ebb is the realest deal. There's no doubt when the man speaks. And speaks and speaks. He's the tide that raises all ships. We bathe in Sterling radio waves. Who dares ask for more? Every knee shall bow to his majesty.
ReplyDeleteWow...are we talking about the "same" John Sterling? However, I must admit the mention of Charlie Steiner made me bristle.
ReplyDeleteI think A Grumpus might actually be J Sterling! lol
ReplyDeleteThat last accusation's one big fat whopping lie. There be but one JOHN STERLING in this universe, and let no one forget it. It's his ball of yarn and we're just breathing his lusty air. JOHN STERLING--Insert superlative now.
ReplyDeleteLovely blog you hhave here
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